| long time no poop |
[Nov. 20th, 2005|04:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  relieved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the screaming coming from the people box in the next room. | ] |
I realize that it has been a while since our last entry, but it couldn't be helped. Connor's obsession with newfangled technology was to blame.
He didn't realize that we have dial-up because our humans are poor (they spend most of their money feeding us), and he'd been spending all this time trying to upload his Poopcast from his new I-butt(TM).
Admittedly, I think the I-butt is pretty awesome too, and Licorice sure can't get his nose out of it either, but I don't think Connor has the common sense to realize that the computer can't handle that kind of load. Or smell.
In the mean time I've cut down on my carbs and am trying a new water diet. My humans don't much like my new diet, because my incessant drinking keeps them awake at night, but I've kept my girlish figure.
Can't say the same for Licorice. He can sit and stand at the same time, or, at the very least, I can't tell the difference.
....Oh....fine Licorice you type. Keyboard hog. hmmph.
~S
I'm stinky and crusty! YAY!!
I miss this keyboard. It looks tasty.
djkhovo9b900-98456ns gfg-=-59wutijihghhhhhhhhhhhhhhsuis98g9070789
Oooh, neat. It does googly screen things when I chew on it.
I pooped today. I pooped yesterday too. Then I ate it. Yummy!
(L)
-----Ok get the hell off the keyboard you lousy rodent. NO one wants to hear about your day.
Grrr. ~S
Eh, deh ya bois moind ef oi upload me poopcast again?
Oh for crap's sake. I'm going to go chew on my foot until someone pets me. This is ridiculous.
~S |
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| YAY!!! |
[Dec. 10th, 2004|02:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  jubilant | ] |
Oh boy. I'm so glad we have a new neighbor. Now I will have someone to play battleship with. I can wait to smell his butt!!
I've been really busy exercising and reading detective novels. and eating poop. it's been a crazy month.
Last month, our humans took us on a field trip to an "open house". It didn't look much like a house though. It wasn't plastic and I couldn't see any teeth marks...but oh well.
I think what the humans actually meant was a piggie convention.There were lots of other piggies and a constant supply of free food. I was so bloated I nearly gave up my diet.But then I decided to just eat more cilantro. Big Hands carried me around and let me sniff all kinds of stuff. it was great!
The ride back was really long afterwards, so Schrapnel and I tried playing PIGTIONARY with pee. (he forgot the markers again) Apparently, Our Lady didn't like our game very much, and kept calling us smelly little beasts. It's not my fault that Schrapnel has bad aim. After we got back, she did the unthinkable to us.
We got BATHED.
My butt smelled like flowers. it was awful. I should have known what was coming when she had that yellow bottle and tupperware with water in it. The worst part is the hot roaring thing that she aimed at us afterwards. It's terrifying! I guess the reason she uses it must be to scare the water off of us. I was ready to run, for sure.
She did do a great job restyling my hair though.
YAWWWWWN. It's been a long day. I've been awake for two whole hours. I need some rest. I think I'll go take a nap and then maybe I'll chew on something later. |
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| hog blog blockage |
[Dec. 10th, 2004|02:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
Ah, the past few months of vigourous aerobics classes have taken time away from our blog. But my girlish figure is improving nicely. I've also changed my diet to include not just veggies, but LOTS of veggies. The improvements are noticeable.
Licorice seems to be trimming some of his gut as well, and certainly Our Lady of Perpetual Food has helped our efforts by getting us a new aerobic food dish that allows me to stretch at full length and show my sexy abs. What a boar I am. ROWR.
I've been pirating cable again, and watching episodes of Queer Eye to try and learn some new ways to make our cage space both comfortable but aesthetically pleasing. I've suggested some of these things to our faithful humans, but alas, I was not allowed the wine rack or the giant green canvas on the south wall. However, we did get a new chandelier made entirely out of keys - it's great to chew on and swing at Licorice when he's not looking, as well as a hammock made out of recycled materials.
I'm glad OLOPF got us to join a gym. I feel much more fit now. She signed us up for this place that is complete with several tunnels, a cardboard box, various wooden tooth exercisers, and complementary hay. Never mind that the place is well decorated with only the finest blankets.
Finally, we are appreciated for the athletes we are inside.
The most recent development, however, was the arrival of a new neighbor. Apparently, since we have brought up property values, that everyone wants to move here.
I caught the humans constructing the new housing development first, and alerted Licorice who was anxious to test his new spy binoculars.
We were shocked to see that the new house actually had a balcony...with our old food dish on it. I was perturbed at first. No one asked me about that food dish. But I'm a generous piggy.
Then came the discussions of "would you like a new friend?" I made my answer very plain. I don't mind new friends, but they have to be willing to allow me my personal time. Licorice was all excited and pooping everywhere.he forgot to sniff my butt for a whole day.
Our humans arrived home one afternoon with the new tenant, whose name I heard was Connor, er something. Sounded scottish.
We haven't gotten to meet him yet. He seems kinda private, although I have caught him looking out his window into our livingroom. So he's nosey too.
We've exchanged the usual words of "hey, how's the weather" and "wow, I've taken too many naps today", with occasional sniffing. he smells scottish too.
And he does have an accent.
Licorice wants to invite him over for carrots sometime, but I figure he's got to get acclimated a bit before getting social.
Anyhow, my paws are tired from all the yoga positions I'd been practicing this morning, so I'd best take another nap.More later as I find out more about the new guy.
~S |
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| lard of the dance |
[Sep. 9th, 2004|10:13 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  mischievous | ] |
Well, after Our Lady abandoned us helpless cute things for a week, she finally came back! (although she was smothering us with so much love (and not enough food) we couldn't even get to the computer to blog!
So, both Big Hands and Our Lady of Perpetual Food ran away from us. (sniff) But then, Tasty Lady and her friend Fuzzy Buddha Man came to play with us. They were both tasty. Schrapnel thought they'd be fun to pee on as well. We ate lots and lots of parsley. YUM!
But we still missed our humans. Even though they left us to go have fun.
Schrapnel and I were very excited when they came back. We didn't get ripped away from our naps quite as often with our other watchers, and we were starting to miss it. We got lots of full body massages after Our Lady came home.We were too happy to poop!
Our cage was really really stinky. We'd worked so hard at decorating the place that week. Schrapnel was so proud of himself, he'd managed to spell out COME HOME HUMANS in poop, until I accidentally tripped over the dish and spilled food on his project...and then proceeded to eat all of it. Oops.
OLOPF thought otherwise of our cage, and decided our cage needed redecoration. So all our fun was gone, but we did get some new treats and lots of hay, so I guess we can't really complain.
She keeps telling us how fat we are. I disagree. I'm not fat, it's just genetic. I come from big boned norwegian stock. So there.
(L)
-You dork. You can't be norwegian. For one, you're not blonde. For another, it's frickin cold there. We're from a tropical climate. Have you forgotten?
~S |
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|
| grunties |
[Aug. 24th, 2004|05:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lethargic | ] |
Ah.. once again it has been a while since I have had time to blog. I've been honing my attempts to use the playstation, and it seems to be paying off.
It's been an eventful month, but mostly yesterday.
There we were, happy and stinky as always, and OLOPF messed things up for us again. She always calls us smelly pigs whenever we're getting our cage remodeled. Why does she complement us like that and then screw everything up?
Maybe I'll poop extra this week.
She yelled at us for participating in a new sport called DISH TIPPING. Licorice says he saw something like it when our humans were watching the olympics, but I think he mistakes it for the discus. They throw dishes for that one.
Anyhow, I'd been winning all week, being the first to totally empty the dish of food by standing on the edge. Licorice tried to make it difficult by peeing in it first, but I triumphed nonetheless.
Our Lady was NOT happy with our new found exercise. How else am I to keep this girlish figure? Sigh.
So then she broke down and gave us new chew toys after grumbling for a while, and kept telling us that we weren't getting fed until after our appointment.
I kept thinking it was a hair appointment. I'd like to get some purple streaks....anyway...
We wound up getting shoved into our moving hotel and dumped out onto the cold marble table - at the vet.
What kind of thanks is that for all the love and urine we've given her over the past few months?
Traitor.
So Licorice and I conspired a couple seconds before we got separated. We knew they were going to steal our poop, and we weren't going to let THAT happen. How would you like it if someone stole your dinner right out of your mouth?
So we made the NO-POOP pact, and held our ground.
They poked and prodded us, wanted to look in orifices I didn't even know I had, rolled me in a towel and plopped me on that numbery thing again.
I found out that after that, Licorice is indeed the fat one, it's not just his looks.
I peed a lot to make them think I was cooperating. hehehe.
They waited for us to poop. And waited. And waited.
Licorice said they were chanting all kinds of stuff at him to get him to let go, but he did not give in.
Best of all, we even got fed!Silly humans...bribery doesn't work either.
We sat there for a half hour, looking our cutest and not pooping. They finally brought us back together, thinking we might be happier to poop in each other's company.
Au contrare!
And so we still didn't poop.
But then....I got hungry. It was dinner time after all....And by then I would have had a pile of fresh veggies. they kept repeating, the sooner you poop, the sooner we'll feed you. Licorice begged me not to listen.
But the stress was too much. My stomach was empty...what could I do? I needed a snack.
So I thought, maybe if I'm fast enough they won't catch me.
It almost worked.:(
Stole it right out from underneath me. Damn dirty humans.
They took us home and fed us as promised. Then licorice spent the rest of the night devising a paln to get back at them by spelling insults with poop.
I was tired. So very tired.
And if it wasn't bad enough how they torture cute little me, I hear mumblings of how they are going to leave us for a week.
I just hope tasty lady comes to play with us. |
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| They Might be Pigs |
[Jul. 20th, 2004|06:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
I'm going to start a rock band. I'm going to play an electric watter bottle and Licorice is going to do poopercussion.
Here's our first song:
----OINK-----
Well I'm taking that chew toy it's wasted on you
Just waving your black butt all over the room
And give me that carrot that's under you too...
Let's oink, oink this cage is so great
Oink, Oink cuz it's never too late
To Oink, Oink to no big surprise
When can we eat some parsley and chives
Can we eat some parsley and chives?
I would open the fridge if I could get out
And shove all the veggies right into my snout
Look thru my blue tube, instead I just pout.
Let's Oink, Oink this hay is so great
Oink, Oink put that food on my plate
And Oink, Oink to no big surprise
When can we eat some parsley and chives
Can we eat some parsley and chives?
We think they'll feed us, but we're always wrong
Even though I'm smart enough to write this here song
And we'll be sad cuz they won't
But we'll be sad...
Let's Oink, Oink my butt is so great
Oink, Oink cuz I'm not losing weight
So oink, oink and then pee on their thighs
We really want some parsley and chives
Can we eat some parsley and chives? |
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| poop is in the stars |
[Jul. 20th, 2004|05:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  listless | ] |
Here is my...well, our horoscope for today.
/L
July 20, 2004
Some romantic spice could be in the air for you today, licorice. Your partner might want to do something special with you like travel or spend some exciting intimate time together. It would be good to get a little adventurous right now! If you're single, maybe you will catch the attention of an attractive stranger today. Be open to chatting with someone who has a warm smile. You could be on the trail of something magical!
Wait, wait wait. NO.
Romantic spice? Sure. It's called my butt now get your nose out of there.
Partner? Do I qualify as a partner?
I'm not sure I should be reading this....
~S
Well, we are single, and you are attractive, and strange. And your smile is kinda warm.
/L
My smile gets warmer the more your ear gets in my teeth which it will for sure if you keep talking like that. Why do you read this crap Licorice? This horoscope has NOTHING to do with anything involving us.
~S
Well, maybe for you, but I'm on the trail of something magical!!
/L
Yes, that's also called my butt. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to have a drink, poop for five minutes, and sleep. GO AWAY already!!!
~S
OK fine. I guess i'll go talk to Miss Cleo about our relationship issues. She knows everything, you know.
/L |
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| squeak? |
[Jul. 15th, 2004|05:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  curious | ] |
Where has Our Lady Of Perpetual Food been?
She was here all the time, petting us, feeding...well, not feeding us, tormenting us, waking us up from our naps,....
and now it's quiet all day.
I need a massage.
It's hard work to lay around and look cute if no one is even watching.
I'm going to have to learn how to work the phone so i cna call out for dinner.
~S |
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| Exit only |
[Jul. 13th, 2004|12:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  embarrassed | ] |
I feel violated.
Our Lady of Perpetual Food came at us with qtips and washcloths the other day.
Kept sticking things in my ear! AGH!!!!!
I'm too ashamed to describe what she did with the washcloth, all I will say is now I have to drag my butt around so it smells normal again. Ick.
Maybe she's was trying to get DNA samples to clone me.....
That's it. She was trying to clone me to create a genetically superior pig that would not only have a handsome gut, but a winning smile and intelligence far beyond....well, mine.
Or not. Maybe i'm just delusional.
Squeak.
uh-oh, gotta stop typing.. I think I will get petted soon.
Must look inocuous.
/L |
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| our struggle to survive |
[Jul. 13th, 2004|12:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  determined | ] |
So there we were, stranded in the bedding, left to deal with the harsh elements of the apartment....alone.
we were starving. It had been forever since we'd eaten real food....at least 2, maybe 3 hours.
I could barely raise my leg to chew on it.
Licorice was passed out in the shelter from sheer exhaustion.
We'd been forced to eat our own poop for several minutes, just to survive....
I thought I couldn't go on any longer, that I indeed had squeaked my last until there came the merciful sound of plastic.
The GODS bestowed on us an abundance of leafy things.
And it was good.
I then had enough strength to stand up and say "I'm going to take a NAP!"
All for the good of mankind, I tell you.
~S |
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| weeeee weeeee weeee |
[Jul. 11th, 2004|03:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hungry | ] |
I'm hungry!!!! Feeeeeed meeeeeee!
I'm waiting....
Anyone?
I'm cute....I know someone wants to feed me.
.....?
sniffle. :(
I guess I'll go wallow in my own poop now.
/L |
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| this is only a test |
[Jul. 9th, 2004|09:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
WEEEEEE! More fun quizzes!
Here's mine:
YAY! /L
And I suppose you expect me to join in? fine.
well, that's somehow suits me.
~S |
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| Pudge |
[Jul. 6th, 2004|09:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
I asked Schrapnel today if I looked fat.
He laughed so hard he pooped, but he didn't give me an answer.
That can't mean anything good. How will I ever squeeze into that bathing suit now?
Apparently chewing doesn't burn as many calories as the instructional tape claimed.
Sigh.
Of course, then there's the issue of all this unsightly leg and back hair.
I think I'll just hide all summer.
-L |
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| damn dirty humans |
[Jul. 6th, 2004|09:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  complacent | ] |
We've been quite busy lately, I've been trying to rewire the cable with a sharpened carrot and a half eaten piece of poop. I actually got the food channel to show on the TV for about a week a while back...I'm sure I can manage again.
Got our cage defiled today. Now it smells fresh. I really though Our Lady of Perpetual Food was going to let us go and stay in our lovely filth this time...but then Licorice had to go and chew on the paper to remind her.
He's grounded from sniffing my butt for the next week.(Not that he listens.)
OLOPF is a strange creature and is constantly talking to me, reminding me how smelly I am. "You're a smelly pig!"
Well, yes. It's on my business card for cripes sake.
She sings these godawful stupid songs all the time, and they all sound the same. Like "Oh you stinky Pig", or "Pigs are Pigs" or Licorice's favorite "P-I-G...Pig!
Kill me, please. I can't take the sappiness. Really, I love my pet humans, but you'd think they'd be more intelligent and come up with better music.
Then again, there's Britney Spears. I guess there is no hope for humanity.
I decided to test OLOPF's love for me the other day, and sat in her lap as she petted me. I turned around and sat facing her, looking as cute as can be. Then, I got a really smug expression on my face, and peed till my heart was content. Took her a couple seconds before she was yelling at me and holding me away like I was a moldy turnip.
Ah the satisfaction.
She still loves me, of course. The next test will have to be tougher.
~S |
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| blog hog |
[Jun. 25th, 2004|12:21 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
Since Schrapnel dashed my hopes of becoming a hippie, I decided that maybe instead I should enroll in Hogwarts School! After all, I am...a hog. Plus, I'd love to learn how to magically levitate carrots from the fridge into my mouth. Here's the house I got sorted into online:
I'm from Hufflepuff!
Hogwart's Sorting Hat Quiz
made by The Genki Gang
-YAY! You try Schrapnel! :)
~Gad. Must I? argh.
I'm from Slytherin!
Hogwart's Sorting Hat Quiz
made by The Genki Gang
~Well, that fits....
-YAY! We can be the first magical pigs on the internet!!!
~ I'm already magical. Look, I can make hay disappear. And now, I can make poop appear. Big Hands can also attest that I am a wizz-ard. He's ignored my pee dance several times now. You'd think he'd know the choreography.
-Whee! I'm gonna find a flying broom to chew on! |
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| weeeeee! I'm naked! |
[Jun. 24th, 2004|05:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
I just realized that I must be a hippie. I've been doing research online to find others like me...mainly some cute chicks and I typed in the following words: vegan, male, naked, smelly, grass and poetry. And what do you know, the search engine gave me pictures of hippies. HUMAN hippies...but if there's human hippies there must be guinea pig hippies, right?
I FINALLY BELONG SOMEWHERE!!!!
I feel so free, running around naked and eating my weight in veggies. I am at peace...i am at one with myself. Let the sun shine in! Let's work togther now brothers and sister to help our fellow man. Dude! I think I need to hug a tree! Dig it? yeah. Where are my grateful dead records? Let's go find some weed(s).
-L |
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| poopsicle |
[Jun. 9th, 2004|04:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | bored | ] |
Nothing better to do on a hot day than to eat, sleep, poop, and take online quizzes.
Here's what I got from a couple ones:
~S
You are the...BROCCOLI!
Which Vegetable are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I had hoped I was lettuce...not too fond of broccoli
Chimp
What Kind Of Animal Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
eewww. Monkeys.
Licorice, your turn.
YAYY!!! squeak!
You are the...APPLE!
Which Vegetable are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Yum! i could eat myself!
(uh, I don't recommend that Licorice.)
Giraffe
What Kind Of Animal Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Haha, I'm taller than yooouuuuuu!
(no, you're not taller it's just all the gut you have is in a bigger pile than mine, and thusly the illusion of tallness.)
ok nap time. |
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| long time no pee |
[Jun. 6th, 2004|10:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
FINALLY, I am able to blog again. There's nothing like spraining your toe on a piece of stale poop to mangle your typing skills.
It's been a busy past month or so...Our Lady of Perpetual Food finally stopped ignoring us after her silly people wearing clothing thingy ended.She started introducing us to all sorts of other strange humans besides Tasty Lady and Twiddle Fingers.
They were all worthy of my poop of approval.
This weekend however, while fun, was exhausting.
We were herded into the magic room that moves and when we came out again, we were on som other planet. A planet where food is everywhere! Growing right out of the ground, under my feet, under my butt...wow! What a miracle. So naturally, I had to taste all this planet had to offer. Aside from the occasional vrooms that nearly made me pee myself, it was a fun visit.
Earlier today, we were placed in the jail while all our lovely smells were being vanquished. It seemed like the usual visit, sit in the jail, bite Licorice, try to push the purple ball of doom onto his head, poop, squeak, you know the drill. But, instead of letting us go back to our high rise, Our Lady of Perpetual Food did something I was not prepared for...she tried to make us into soup. Sure, massage me and talk to me nice as you lower me into some tupperware. The next thing I know, my butt is warm and wet, and so are my feet, and then water is getting dumped all over me!
So I try to run, but she's still talking all nice and rubbing some slimy smelly stuff all over my butt. I did my best to escape, but to no avail. Again and again I got dipped into the infernal cleaness. then, she has the gall to tell me "It's ok Schrapnel." in her best fluffy wuffy voice, and violently rolls me in a towel. How demeaning.
This whole towel business went on for a while, and then Licorice got his due as well. Granted, he's a doof and doesn't care if his manly scent is so wretchedly defiled. The torture continued as we were again put in jail (What did we do to deserve this?? Really??) and then the whiny white dragon breathed fire on us. Nearly singed all my butt hair!
Although, after a while it felt strangely nice...ahem. anyway...
So we finally get back in our cage. There's mounds of hay and fresh water straight from a mountain spring...but we weren't there more than five minutes before we got jammed into the magic room again.
The magic room is a strange thing - the ends open up and allow plenty of room for my snout to enter the vacuum of space. Apparently humans have no problem in the vacuum of space and they just sit there and turn the round thing until the stuff stops flying by. It's rather exiting, but makes me nauseous.
When the magic room opened all the way again, we were brought to yet another planet where there were hundred of others like us! And all the humans were worshipping them! The humans were forced to "register" Which means each human wears a yellow paper thing with their name and a picture of their "real master" on it. They then set up our jail on the lush foodscape and the snacks just never stopped coming.
Not since our tenement days had we seen so many other like us.
The humans were preparing the sacrifice bits of parsley to us when I saw her - about four inches tall, dark eyes, red/black hair....drool. Problem is, Licorice saw her too and started quoting his godawful poetry. I tried to nose my way in, but the humans wouldn't let me get close. Man, could this girl eat! That's what I need, a woman who can eat her own weight in carrots and still maintain that round sexy butt. rarrrr.
No matter how I tried, I was not allowed access. Maybe she was somebody famous...
After Licorice and I found our way back into the jail, we were awarded large bunches of parsley, but food paled in comparison to the four footed beauty I had just encountered. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. I couldn't even poop. Darkness closed in, my heart bled thousands of dead roses...
ICK! What the hell am I doing channeling Licorice's horrible lack of literary skill? Barf.
Despite my unrequited love, there was still some solace in food. So I ate and pooped and ate and laid down and ate and squeaked and ate...
And then I just couldn't keep my gut from touching the ground anymore so I decided to nap.
The humans left us on the planet for days I think...it seemed like days - nothing but solid eating. There was that moment when they tried to make us exercise. It didn't work though.
So, again we hauled ourselves into the magic room. I was pooped. All i wanted to do was sleep, but Licorice kept moving every time I got comfortable. So insensitive. I don't care that my leg is draped over your head and my crotch is in your face, CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO SLEEP???
Our high rise was a welcome sight. Miles of fresh bedding to mark my territory on.
I must have been asleep for weeks after that...well, it felt like weeks anyway.
YAWN. I'm still tired.
I should get myself a nice nightcap from the water bottle, cruise by the dish for a quick snack and then lay around the house. I would lay in the house but Licorice is composing bad poetry again, I I'd rather avoid that sort of tragedy.
~S |
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| poop goes the weasel |
[Mar. 31st, 2004|06:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
Been a while since I posted....
I knew that was an awfully long nap.
I have my very own poop trough now.It's purple! Great for lounging in.
The humans have been very busy..Our Lady of Perpetual Food is cranky all the time, and complains about our supposed "constant screaming for food." Well, gee. You only feed us five times a day. We're starving for god's sake!
Licorice bit Big Hands for no apparent reason.
I bit Licorice for an extremely good reason. Because I have teeth.
The humans invited Twiddle Fingers over to play with the stupid box and the finger twiddler I like to chew on..or at least that's what he usually comes over for. OLOPF pulled out a box and a big flat thing and pulled out all these little red and green thingies that looked great to chew on. Apparently it's a game called Risk.
It takes a really long time to play the way humans do it. Why don't they just eat each other's pieces? It'd be much faster that way.
So, anyway, after watching the humans play, it looked kinda like fun.
I got tired of watching after a bit and wanted to grab a snack from the bowl, except Licorice had left 3 poops in there. I hate it when he marks his territory like that. He was sitting in the tube instead of the house for once, so I left a pile of 3 poops in the doorway of the house.
He got ticked off that I claimed the house so he pooped 3 times in the poop trough and left a chunk of half eaten carrot in there. I promptly pooped ten times in the trough and ate the rest of his carrot.
I was tired after all the pooping, and wanted to sit down by the water bottle, but what does my furry butt hit? 6 poops, two half eaten carrots, and a gnarl of hay.
I'd just about had it with his usurping my rest area, so I launched my final attack. I ate the 6 poops and the carrots, and the hay, and pooped fifteen times in the tube, in the other poop tray, and in the house (that's five poops per area). Then, I put a big gnarl of hay in the other poop trough, pooped 3 more times, and left 3 more poops and 2 half eaten carrots in the middle of the cage.
Needless to say, Licorice was no match for my rebuttal.
Wow, that whole recounting of my evening made me hungry.
Must eat.
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
oohh, OLOPF can't here typing. Must vocalize. |
|
|
| what kind of pig am i! |
[Mar. 6th, 2004|11:19 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
I found one of these personal surveys online while surfing for pictures of lettuce. YAY! fun!
(L)
Name: Licorice
Birthday: Nov 21, 2003
Zodiac: Sagitarius
Nicknames: Squeaky Butt, Silly Head, You Pig
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What ...
... is most important in life?
parsley.
... is my living arrangement?
a purple flat with a large front yard, blue cardboard tube and purple castle, and an eat in kitchen.
... book am I reading currently/have read recently?
are those the things with the tasty paper?
... is the CD (or tape) I have playing in my stereo right now?
Schrapnel still hasn't figured out how to use the stereo yet...
... school(s) did I attend?
self taught. I eat carrots very well.
... is my earliest memory?
my mom sitting on my head.
... the worst feeling in the world?
that bloated feeling when you've had too much hay
... the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning?
"FOOOD!"
... the first type of car I owned?
what's a car?
... on my mouse pad?
uh...it looks orange. maybe it's made out of carrots!!
... under your bed?
newspaper, I think. it tastes like newspaper anyway.
...is my shoe size?
i'm supposed to wear shoes? why didn't anyone tell me?
...is my bedtime?
during the day when Our Lady and Big Hands are away.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have I ever...
...put a body part on fire for amusement?
I've chewed on my foot for amusement...does that count?
...been in a car accident?
i told you i don't understand what CAR is.
...kept a secret from someone?
i didn't tell Schrapnel that i sniffed his butt while he was asleep.
...had an imaginary friend?
I've had imaginary veggies...
...wanted to hook up with a friend?
ewww...he's my brother. it stops at butt sniffing.
...cried during a movie?
i cry only when the veggies are gone.
...had a New Kids on the Block tape?
a who?
...cut my hair?
nah, i just projectile shed onto my humans and watch them scramble for tape to get it off
... been to Africa?
no. do they have bigger carrots there?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My favorite...
... computer?
uh, this one I guess.
... board game?
fling the poop. well, it's the only game i know.
... magazine?
the reader. it's great to pee on.
... smells?
Schrapnel's butt, food, and clean bedding.
... sounds?
plastic, the fridge door, water running.
... color?
green
... foods?
yes,I like food.
... alcoholic drink?
water?
...non-alcoholic drink?
water
... number?
1269.59
... sport to watch?
Schrapnel doing laps
... TV show?
I'm not much for TV. I'd rather nap.
...part of the day?
when I get fed
...season?
season? is that like seasonings? are they tasty?
...lace or satin?
I haven't chewn on either yet, but velvet is yummy
...advertisement?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I like...
... chocolate or vanilla?
er....parsley?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do I...
... like to drive fast?
I run pretty fast, and haven't gotten pulled over yet.
... sleep with a stuffed animal?
yeah, Schrapnel gets kinda bloated and needs naps after meals
... eat the stems of broccoli?
not much for broccoli, actually.
... type with my fingers on the right keys?
i have to use my snout...my toes aren't big enough
...believe in myself?
chomp...yes, i think I'm here
...believe in friends?
chomp...OoooOW! yeah, Schrapnel's here too.
...believe in destiny/fate?
why not.
...believe in angels?
sure
...believe in ghosts?
ok
...believe in UFOs?
things certainly do fly around here alot...maybe?
...like anyone?
i like anyone who will pet me, but food goes a lot further.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If I could...
... meet one person, dead or alive, who would it be?
the guy who invented carrots
... have any job I wanted what would it be?
professional sleeper
... dye my hair any color?
plaid might be nice
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Miscellaneous
How many rings before I answer the phone?
but i can't pick up the phone!
Ever been in love?
i love veggies. that's all that matters
Is the glass half empty or half full?
when one water bottle is down halfway, I go drink out of the other one.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
YAY! your turn schrapnel! |
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